The Trial

 I feel like i want to be scared but I can't, I feel like i should cry uncontrollably but I can't. I feel like I should panick but instead I take a couple of deep breaths while tears roll down my face & in this moment I remember just who you are! That's why I couldn't react in my flesh.

I remembered just who my Lord and Savior is. My Jesus Christ. My bestfriend, my intercessor, my champion , my King who is the King of all Kings.

 I don't know what lies ahead but I do know I will not be by myself. You will be with me in all and through all things. I put all of this into your care. I know that No matter the outcome it will be for my good and your glory. I trust you Lord not the appearance of what lies in front of me but in you. 

All God's people say Amen and send prayers up for me.

The feeling you get when your crush text you first. Lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9RWK3lJVRo&feature=youtube_gdata_player

You're WACk!

YOU'RE WACK!!!! I see you talking that spiritual talk but you're wack, I see you talking about changing your ways and crap but you're wack! You lie!, your a user! You couldn't change if you wanted to, you're scum. Who's going to believe you ?

How many times you talk all 'Christian' only to stab someone in the back! Yeah you're wack . You couldn't change if you wanted to...cause remember your wack!

WHY is it that when we see someone trying to change for the better we have to go an remind them of all that cray cray crap they've done. Like they don't already know Instead of us to rejoice in the effort and encouraged the walk, we get even more mad at them for trying, its like we want to say " I told you so " & shout it out to the roof tops.

 Are we not just as responsible for Turning that person AWAY from Christ?Where is God's love in wanting them to fail just so you can say ... ah Ha! I told you so.

This can be hard especially when the person has hurt you. You wouldn't want someones blood on your hands so dont taint there salvation either. 

For me I might not be publicly ready to pat them on the back but I will encourage them through private prayer and fasting. If the Holy Spirit then says "Bunmi go and give a word of encouragement to so and so.... (you know me I might be like ..whattt?!??! Lol but I WILL go.(prayerfully &Hopefully).

Lord help us to break the strongholds of pain, resentment, and hurt. Break every chain, break every chain, break every chain. ......so we can bring more to you.

LOVE

Lord your love makes me so emotional.  I cry sometimes thinking about how much you love me. You know my thoughts, my fears, my sins. .. my journey. Lord your like that mom that rushes to the aid of a child who falls and hurts themselves with kleenexs, a huge Hug with the assurance that it might hurt now but that you're here and it will be okay.  Lord your that kleenex of my life. I can't stop crying.  I love you so much but my actions doesn't always show it.  Love is such a Powerful force.  When I think of the goodness you have done for me... Thank you Jesus Thank you.

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Sunday's Sermon and Intimacy Anorexia

Pastor Keith Battle preach an amazing sermon this past Sunday about Intimacy Anorexia, and the 4 stages of things that occur in ones life that could lead them to suffer from this and the effects of how that plays into a marriage.

Usually when he does a marriage series I listen but I tune out bc I'm not married lol, but God so good this message pierced my heart. The lord made it so that I was incapable of tuning out.

Remember that part in that movie The Maid when the lady said " you is smart, you is good and you is impotant" (sidenote I know an r goes there but that's how she said it lol) 

I remember growing up an not living in an atmosphere of praise and the effects that had on me through out my young adult life and it just dawned on me that since my niece Mekayla was born ..there has NEVER  been a day that I didn't tell her that " I love you, I'm proud of you, that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to  bc christ is in and with you.  That coming from just 1 out of 5 aunts  the rest of my sisters, her mother and her grandmother reaffirms her just as much if not more so.

Creating atmosphere of praise is Important especially in your home.

I found myself physically growing up but still having to go back into my past to deal and heal the hurts so I could have a better quality of life.

I could literally talk about this all morning but visit zionchurch online and watch the latest sermon its about 36 mins long its worth the watch.

Much love thanks for letting me overshare. God bless♥

Below is the book that inspired Sunday sermon.

Psalm 37

Psalms 37:1-7 NLT

Don’t worry about the wicked or envy those who do wrong. For like grass, they soon fade away. Like spring flowers, they soon wither. Trust in the L ord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the L ord , and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the L ord . Trust him, and he will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. Be still in the presence of the L ord , and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.

I love Daniel Bryan

But here's the thing they don't understand there is Satisfaction in the struggle.

B/c i Know, that no matter how many times randy orton attacks me from behind,  no matter how many times The Shield Tripple Power bombs me, No matter how many knock out punches I eat from Giants... and No matter how many times Tripple H tries to hold me down. . I WILL BEAT RANDY ORTON!, I WILL REGAIN THE TITLE AND I WILL BE THE W.W.E CHAMPION! !!! YESSSSSSSSS!. Daniel Bryan seriously crying (Real Tears)

Weight loss Journey day 1

So if you read the Nigerian adage in the previous post it was from my mother. That was her way of breaking the ice to me and telling me that I need to loose weight. I knew though ... I've always known.  I guess I could say that I have a thyroid problem,  or some medical condition that is preventing me from loosing weight... but in honesty its me. Its shear laziness agmonst other things. 

 I've battled my weight for years.  I would go to the gym maintain consistency for a month or two and then give up. My mom saw that it was getting out of hand,  knew that it was something I didn't want to hear and told it to me. I knew though.  I stop going out, I no longer wanted to be seen, I stop posting pictures of myself, I stop going to bible study,   I even resulted to taking cabs everyday so I wouldn't run into anyone I knew.. pathetic hun? I enlisted the help of a trainer but that got too extensive.   

I'm 32 and I have no kids, no real major responsibility other then rent, tithes and bills .. (which is a whole other topic) but im grateful for that. I do want marriage and kids eventually but its not my primary goal. . ( I know, I know. An African who's goal is not marriage and babies.. how rare right?)

But anyhoo my goal is to get CLOSER to God through jesus christ and loose some MAJOR weight.  For a long time. I've prayed and ask God why is it that I can't focus on wanting better things for myself.  I'm great at motivating others. But when it comes to myself, I get stuck.

In talking to my mother she said something along the line of . I want you to LOVE yourself.  Do I love myself?  I love the heart and character of the person I am but do I really love myself?  I guess I don't really know. Maybe I do,  just not as much as I should. I've been so hurt for so long that I guess I let that pain carryon into how I feel about myself.  I didn't Realize it until writing this.

The lord has told me for over an entire year that I should end certain relationships and let him work on and in me. I guess I focus on others and helping others so I dont have to focus on me.

For the past couple of days I've been getting back into reading my word and praying . This  has been strengthen comforter for me.

So today is my day one. I am riding the train on my way to work!, I've packed my lunch and resolved to drink only water for the next couple of days. Hopefully this will turn into months, then after work (may God spare our lives), my mother and I are going to walk to the track and do a couple of laps!.

Im so happy right now that I'm trying so hard not to cry. Im taking a step that I pray and Hope will be a life change for the rest of mylife.

Lord in heaven I thank you for not giving up on me, even when I turn my back to  you and Ignore your love. I thank you for being on this train with me helping me to not feel ashamed of myself, my weight but to feel determined to walk , praise,  fast and go through this all with my head bowed to you and it raised high to the world.

Day 1 step 1 and goooo.

Telling the Truth

Nigerian Adage of the day:

If two sisters go into a room and say they will tell each other the truth and when they come out of that room they're yelling, cursing and ready to beat the crap out of each other then you know the Truth was spoken in that room, but if they come out of that room laughing, joking and smiling then you know that the truth wasn't spoken that both sisters were keeping things from one another.  Sidenote: the truth is always bitter. Only a person who loves you will go through the bitter with you so can have the better.

Marriage yay or nay?

It so important to let God choose your mate for you. Over the last couple weeks i have spoken with clients who have tried repeatedly to destroy the power & sanctity of marriage.  Alot of these couples are miserable.  Viciously attacking one another.  When i ask if they have a firm foundation in christ? Then I get the.. I don't know what its like speach and you have to be married to understand.  I'm single so I won't fully understand but I have noticed is that God is not the center of their union. It so important to have God and keep him in the Center of it all.   I'm greatful for the examples of this from the kutis, the jones, my fav The Gibbs, the battles, the lees, the craytons,  and etc.
Jesus be the center of it all.

Know about *57

How to Use *57 to Trace a Phone Call | eHow.com

For what good is it to profit the world and loose your very soul?

I have to laugh when people give Tyler Perry a hard time, I know because I used to be one of those people. Talk about going to the hedges and the highways. I see you Tyler, I see you using the very gift that God gave you to bring his light, his word into the unlikest homes, hearts and situations.  I also see that when you stand in the name of God you’re not going to win a lot of fans or believers either. I had to ask myself a question tonight... and now I pose the question to you… Are you using the gifts that God gave you for his kingdom?  I can say that I don't really think I am. I want to walk in my purpose, I want to want what God's wants.  I want to truly and whole heartedly be on the Lord’s side. I don’t want my good intentions to lead me on a road to Hell; I want my obedience to God to lead me to the Height of paradise. I know that God has a plan for us all and we must not allow the enemy to deceive us out of our birthright! Before we were even formed the Lord had a purpose for us! How awesome is that. You must understand that the choices and decisions you make determine if you will get there.  As believers we get so focused on the forgiveness of God that we neglected to acknowledge just how HOLY he really is.  God forgives and is here through it all but as you lay your bed you lie in it.   Remember ….

A Simple sorry may not stop the path your choices will created for you.